Well Remembered
Rest in
Peace Son
There
in that special corner of a mother’s heart, hidden in the shadows where no one
else is allowed to dwell.
I
find you there…always son.
This
is the place; where all my most important memories stand side by side like soldiers
on parade!
It
is that special corner of my heart owned by my child and no other.
The
memories are tucked neatly away to be brought forward on special occasions, not
that I ever expected it to be an occasion like today.
In
there I find the sweet ones; like frosting faces and mud pie messes.
They
stand there side by side, rubbing shoulders with the tough ones that hurt your
heart and make you cry as you remember.
Each
of those stands quietly alongside the ones that fill your heart for a lifetime.
It’s
where I know with certainty I can always find you.
Maybe
it was in a look well remembered on that face I love so much; thinking back
there are so many.
Or
maybe one of your smiles that touched my heart like no other.
It
may have been in a word or a phrase, turned by you that amazed me so; at the
time because it was uttered by that one undeniably special human being; you my
son.
I
cherish each of them.
You
touched my heart like no one else in this world because you were a part of us.
You
were a wonderful part of our love that never needed to be explained!
Standing
here in the kitchen grief stricken and lost;
I
wonder how; how do you say good-bye to your son?
As
parents we understand that alongside the mad and the glad and the hopes and the
fears we all face; we can only hope for the best.
Like
all parents we all rode the rollercoaster of love sometimes sprinkled with
disappointment and raised voices that were meant to help not to harm.
We
didn’t get a play book.
There
weren’t instructions wrapped in blue.
We could only love you but you knew that….
When
you push past the he said; she said and the, this and that of life…
It
bumps face first into the reality of “I love you” with every ounce of my being…..
Your
father and I brought you into this world we would die for you…
The
words and the sentiment seem hollow now as they echo down empty hallways
because we’re standing here now without you.
Neither
of us is able to understand how that can be!
Inside
my head I’m screaming take me, take me, take me…..
Inside
myself, I’m shaking, screaming, crying, aching…. And so it goes.
The
disbelief, the numbness drenched in sadness and recrimination.
Tears
slide slowly down; I am incapable of stopping them.
And
then just like that I see your face and that Easter basket all pastel and aglow.
Hunting
Easter eggs as we looked on….
It
all comes flashing back in an instant there we are watching our rosy cheeked
little boy!
Those
days are long past now but not forgotten by either of us.
I
know we must cling tightly to them every single one of them and to the love…
If
I don’t know anything else at this awful moment I know that the love above all
else is what counts.
There
in that special corner of a mother’s heart, hidden in the shadows where no one
else is allowed to dwell.
I
find you there…always son.
This
is the place; where all my most important memories stand side by side like
soldiers on parade!
It
is that special corner of my heart owned by my child and no other.
The
memories are neatly tucked away to be brought forward on special occasions, not
that I ever expected it to be an occasion like today.
In
there I find the sweet ones; like your first word, first step, first bike ride
and your first day of school.
They
stand side by side rubbing shoulders with the tough ones that hurt your heart
and make you cry as you remember.
.
Rest
in Peace,
James
O’ Neill
Rest
in Peace
For
Pat and Bonnie with much love and a heavy heart,
By,
D.A.
Hughes
05/12/12
